Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
The most embarssing grocery checkout in human history
Yesterday, I was flirting with a complete dreamboat at my local Smith's grocery store. Things were going well. He'd even asked for my phone number. And then suddenly he looked at my grocery basket and made a hasty retreat. As I reviewed my receipt at home to make sure I hadn't been overcharged or forgotten something I decided I will never hear from that young man in this or any other lifetime...
Metamucil (I have irritable bowel, I need the fiber)
KY Jelly Tingling Personal lubricant
4 pack AA batteries
Yoplait Plus yogurt
Activia (Yep. Two kinds of yogurt that help you poop)
Nutella
5 lbs of apples
Super Plus deodorizing tampons
I can't help but imagine that somewhere in the world he is tossing my number into garbage because he doesn't want to get mixed up with a sexually frustrated constipated person who is insecure about vaginal freshness. Now if I'd had just one of the above embarrassing items in my basket I'm sure it wouldn't have been a big deal. But I don't blame Mr. No Call. There was no room for romance in that shopping cart.
Metamucil (I have irritable bowel, I need the fiber)
KY Jelly Tingling Personal lubricant
4 pack AA batteries
Yoplait Plus yogurt
Activia (Yep. Two kinds of yogurt that help you poop)
Nutella
5 lbs of apples
Super Plus deodorizing tampons
I can't help but imagine that somewhere in the world he is tossing my number into garbage because he doesn't want to get mixed up with a sexually frustrated constipated person who is insecure about vaginal freshness. Now if I'd had just one of the above embarrassing items in my basket I'm sure it wouldn't have been a big deal. But I don't blame Mr. No Call. There was no room for romance in that shopping cart.
My chance to be on Dateline
Whenever I watch Dateline I sort of feel left out that no one tries to scam money out of me. But finally today someone tried to. Here is the email. I'm so proud. I feel like an adult...
Dear Friend,
I am Mr ALAN COOPER a personal chief financial treasurer to Mikhail Khodorkovsky the Richest man in Russia and owner of the following companies: Chairman CEO: YUKOS OIL (Russian Largest Oil Company) Chairman CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (A well reputable financial institution with itґs Branches all over the world) SOURCE OF FUNDS: I have a profiling amount to the tune of ($15,100,000.00) (Fifteen million,one hundred thousand dollars) which I seek your Partnership in accommodating for me. You will be rewarded with 30% of the total sum for your partnership. Can you be my partner on this? Already the funds have left the shore of Russia through diplimatic means to a European Holding financial institution where the final crediting is expected to be carried out. While I was on the process, My Boss got arrested for his Involvement in politics by financing the leading And opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party Le
http://www.supportmbk.com
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3213505.stm
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2005/03/29/58914.html
http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Mikhail-khodorkovsky
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html YOUR ROLE:
These funds are secured in as escrow account in finanacial institution in the United Kingdom and can be transferred from the escrow account to your personal or business account once you have assured me of your ability and capacity to receive the funds for disbursement amongst the two of us at a ration i stated above. The funds were deposited in my name as a front for my client and all documents in relation to this bears my name to avoid the search by the government, so you need not entertain any worries.
To verify my claim, I would provide you the Escrow account details of the offshore account to enable you verify the existence of these funds. Once you have verified and you are in a position to assist in receiving the funds on my behalf, then I would provide you more details.
1. To verify, please call the ATM Number of the Bank: +44-7005-801-442.
The account balance can be confirmed from the steps above. I would provide you the name and contact officer at the financial institution, so as to enable you make collection and thereafter we would share the funds
All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the above quoted sum and I will re-profile the funds with your name, which will enable the European Holding financial institution transfer the sum to you. I have decided to use this sum to relocate to American continent and never to be connected to any of Mikhail khodorkovsky conglomerates. The transaction has to be concluded within 5 to 10 working days, as soon as I confirm your readiness to conclude the transaction with me. Contact me via my private box so that I can furnish you with more details. Thank you very much.
Regards,
ALAN COOPER [Mr]
EMAIL; alancooper69@gmail.com
Dear Friend,
I am Mr ALAN COOPER a personal chief financial treasurer to Mikhail Khodorkovsky the Richest man in Russia and owner of the following companies: Chairman CEO: YUKOS OIL (Russian Largest Oil Company) Chairman CEO: Menatep SBP Bank (A well reputable financial institution with itґs Branches all over the world) SOURCE OF FUNDS: I have a profiling amount to the tune of ($15,100,000.00) (Fifteen million,one hundred thousand dollars) which I seek your Partnership in accommodating for me. You will be rewarded with 30% of the total sum for your partnership. Can you be my partner on this? Already the funds have left the shore of Russia through diplimatic means to a European Holding financial institution where the final crediting is expected to be carried out. While I was on the process, My Boss got arrested for his Involvement in politics by financing the leading And opposing political parties (the Union of Right Forces, led by Boris Nemtsov, and Yabloko, a liberal/social democratic party Le
http://www.supportmbk.com
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/3213505.stm
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2005/03/29/58914.html
http://www.nationmaster.com/encyclopedia/Mikhail-khodorkovsky
http://newsfromrussia.com/main/2003/11/13/51215.html YOUR ROLE:
These funds are secured in as escrow account in finanacial institution in the United Kingdom and can be transferred from the escrow account to your personal or business account once you have assured me of your ability and capacity to receive the funds for disbursement amongst the two of us at a ration i stated above. The funds were deposited in my name as a front for my client and all documents in relation to this bears my name to avoid the search by the government, so you need not entertain any worries.
To verify my claim, I would provide you the Escrow account details of the offshore account to enable you verify the existence of these funds. Once you have verified and you are in a position to assist in receiving the funds on my behalf, then I would provide you more details.
1. To verify, please call the ATM Number of the Bank: +44-7005-801-442.
The account balance can be confirmed from the steps above. I would provide you the name and contact officer at the financial institution, so as to enable you make collection and thereafter we would share the funds
All I need from you is to stand as the beneficiary of the above quoted sum and I will re-profile the funds with your name, which will enable the European Holding financial institution transfer the sum to you. I have decided to use this sum to relocate to American continent and never to be connected to any of Mikhail khodorkovsky conglomerates. The transaction has to be concluded within 5 to 10 working days, as soon as I confirm your readiness to conclude the transaction with me. Contact me via my private box so that I can furnish you with more details. Thank you very much.
Regards,
ALAN COOPER [Mr]
EMAIL; alancooper69@gmail.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
